When we come in to this world, we come in with nothing, not even clothes on our backs. However, when we leave this world, we usually have a lot more stuff.
If you are like 70% of Americans, you have done no planning. If that is the case, you do not even have a will, let alone any other documents or planning for when you are either incapacitated or you are gone.
Some people may say “I’m gone. I don’t care what happens and I’ll let my loved ones fend for themselves.” However, most people do care about their loved ones, want to make it easier for them and also wish to minimize disputes that may arise in the event of a disability or death.
Remember the last vacation you took, how much planning time, effort and money you spent? Remember when the kids were small and the planning that you did just to go out for an evening, with a babysitter, phone numbers, instructions, etc? Think of all the planning that you did to go away for a week or two or even just one evening. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to do a little bit of planning for when you are going away forever.
The starting point for planning is having the proper documents in place. With the proper documents in place, you are in control of your property while you are alive and well, you and your loved ones are provided for in the event of your mental incapacity and when you are gone, you give what you have to whom you want, when you want, the way you want.
The minimum documents that everyone should have in place is a will based estate plan which consists of financial and health care powers of attorney and a will. Some people also benefit from having a trust.
During your lifetime, your financial power of attorney allows your designated representative to handle your financial affairs in the event of your mental incapacity without the necessity of a court appointed conservator.
Similarly, your health care power of attorney allows your designated representative to make medical and mental health care decisions in the event of your mental incapacity without the necessity of a court appointed guardian.
Your will provides instructions for the distribution of your property and other stuff when you are gone. A trust is kind of like a combination of a financial power of attorney and a will. Your designated agent can manage your trust property for you during your lifetime and then for your loved ones after you are gone.
These documents really should be just the starting point of making a graceful exit. If you truly want to make it easier for your family, there is a lot more that you could do. You can be very specific about what you want to happen after you are gone.
Do you have any special requests regarding your funeral or what happens to your remains. Legally, your next of kin has full authority over what happens to your remains after you are gone. So if you have any specific wishes, then you should set them up ahead of time.
You can do that with pre-paid funerals. When you set up your pre-paid funeral you can be specific about what you want to happen, such as visitations, viewing and the funeral service itself. You could buy your burial plots and monument. If you want to be cremated you can buy your niche and urn. If you spend time in another state such as winters in Florida or Arizona, you can buy special travel insurance that would finance the return of your remains home.
There are two things, that can make it easier for your loved ones when they are going through the grieving process and have all the emotions associated therewith. You could write your own obituary and plan your own funeral service.
By writing your own obituary you decide how you want to be remembered. I have had a number of my clients write their own obituaries. This takes the burden off of your loved ones during their grief and it also decreases the chance of errors being made.
If you have any specific wishes for your funeral service, write them down. I have had clients who have written out their entire funeral service including songs, readings and who is going to do them. I attended a funeral not too long ago in which the deceased was an accomplished singer and through a recording, he sang at his own funeral. Because I have done a bit of singing myself, I have had some who have asked me to sing at their funeral.
These and other topics are part of what are going to be discussed as part of the Gathering at Grace series held at Grace Episcopal Church entitled Making a Graceful Exit. The programs will be held on two upcoming Thursday nights, October 6th and October 13th at 7:00 p.m. The October 6th discussion will focus on the financial aspects of making a graceful exit. The speakers at the first night will be myself and funeral director Arthur Smith. On October 13, the Reverend Robert Trask, rector of Grace Episcopal Church, will be discussing the spiritual aspects of making a graceful exit and the planning of your funeral service.
The series is free and open to the public. If you want to learn more about making a graceful exit and making it easier for all involved, come on down. Do at least as much planning when you are going away forever that you have done for a vacation or even when you have gone out for an evening.
By: Matthew M. Wallace, CPA, JD
Published edited October 2, 2011 in The Times Herald newspaper, Port Huron, Michigan as: Pre-planning essential for graceful exit strategy