Mom or Dad still live at home, however you see them slowing down. Mom or Dad can’t get up and down the stairs like they used to.
In these situations, you may not think that Mom or Dad is old and funny enough to worry about. However, this would be the best time to investigate and evaluate Mom or Dad’s home and how to make it safe for them when they do become older and funnier.
Mom or Dad won’t want to tell you that they are not getting along as well as they used to. They are the parent, you’re the kid. The last thing that they want is their children to be the parent and they, the children. Mom and Dad won’t want to lose their pride, their independence or their driver’s license.
Mom or Dad may drive when they can hardly see. Unexplained dents and dings in the car are signs that you may want to investigate whether Mom or Dad are safe to continue driving.
Visit Mom or Dad at different times of the day and night. Talk to Mom or Dad about “some day” that they may need help. What are their wishes? It is easier to talk to Mom or Dad about “some day” in the future than when they need help today. It also gets them used to the idea of assistance.
Make notes about some suggestions that you might have to make the home safe and make their home life and daily living less challenging for them. For example, remove throw rugs that might slide. Move or remove furniture with sharp edges. Turn the water heater down so that they won’t scald themselves. Make sure that all smoke and carbon monoxide detectors are in place and operating properly.
The bathroom is a room that you should carefully inspect to make sure it is safe. There are hard surfaces that can get very slippery. Grab bars by the toilet and shower will help prevent falls. A non-skid shower stool or chair is also very helpful.
How many stairs does Mom or Dad have to negotiate to get in and out and around the house? Do you have to put in ramps? If Mom or Dad can’t negotiate stairs, you might have to do some remodeling such as adding a bedroom and/or a handicap accessible bathroom on the first floor.
Examine the lighting in all of the rooms. The lights should be easily accessible and bright enough so that Mom or Dad can easily see. You may need to replace light bulbs with higher wattage bulbs or even replace fixtures with higher wattage units.
As Mom or Dad get older, their circulation is going to be poorer than it was in their younger years. They are either going to want to kick up the heat when it is too cold or kick down the air conditioning because it is too hot. It is going to be difficult for them to get comfortable and they are going to want to increase or decrease the temperature for their comfort.
Mom or Dad is going to want to play with the thermostat. You may want to replace the fancy dancy electronic thermostat that has energy saving rollbacks, tiny little displays and lots of buttons to one that is simpler that just has a manual temperature adjustment.
Investigate home care services before you need them. What services do they offer? What are their costs? Are they medical? Are they non-medical? Do you need a doctor’s prescription? Will your health insurance cover it? These are all questions that now is the time to answer before you need it.
Do not wait until Mom or Dad has that fall and you need somebody in the home. In that event, the likelihood is that you are not going to have the time to investigate all of your options because you will be more concerned about just getting the care for Mom or Dad.
Do your homework now when there is no urgency. Keep a file of your observations, contacts and investigations. When the time comes you will have a plan. You will be prepared to make Mom or Dad’s house safe and you will have a better chance to hire caregivers which may be a good fit for Mom or Dad’s needs.
By: Matthew M. Wallace, CPA JD
Published edited July 5, 2009 in The Times Herald newspaper, Port Huron, Michigan as: Make plans for parents’ futures